


Can't Help But Miss You

by emilyszuko



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Gen, Heartbreak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-19 05:44:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13117281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyszuko/pseuds/emilyszuko
Summary: During a lock down at school, Oliver and Felicity are stuck together and are forced to talk about the past and what went wrong.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic. I love high school aus and am a firm believer that there should be more. Here's my attempt. (please don't kill me)

"Oliver, you're gonna be late for school... again!"

Oliver pulls the sheet over his head, asking some divine being to make everything go away. He snuggles close to edge of the bed, flipping over to move as far away from the light as possible. Okay, so maybe he's acting like a petulant child, but he really doesn't want to go to school, doesn't really have to either. It's the end of the year - his senior year - of high school and he's completely content right there in his bed.

He's halfway back to sleep when his mother pulls the sheet off him entirely, with such great force for such a small woman, effectively removing him from the safety of his cocoon.

"Can't I just get 10 more minutes mom?", he groans, knowing he'll go right back to sleep without any intention to wake up til noon, but hey, it's worth a shot isn't it? His mom isn't having any of that though because she just shouts at him to take a shower, come down for breakfast and get to school before he's too late. 

He eventually does this, a routine he's perfected over the years. He makes fun of his little sister Thea at breakfast, teasing her while she acts like the typical put upon preteen. He knows deep done that she's enjoying every second of it, and so is he. He realises on his way to school that his mood has improved, coming to the conclusion that he might as well make the best of this day that is sure to be a waste.

Oliver arrives at school 15 minutes late, which compared to the past 4 years, isn't so bad. He spots his best friends Tommy Merlyn and John Diggle almost immediately, both late as well, which isn't weird for Tommy, but definitely for John. 

"THE John Diggle is late for school? Hey, is there a blue moon tonight?", Oliver croaks, throwing his arm around Diggle's shoulder and pulling his entire weight down with him, effectively pulling both of them in a crouch, almost toppling them over. John rights himself quickly, pushing both Oliver and Tommy away as they both attempt to do it again. 

John scoffs and replies, "My car broke down this morning, so I got a ride with your boyfriend." John looks him up and down and goes on, "You're looking quite non-broody this morning. Did she finally talk to you?"

Oliver sobers quickly, his good mood completely squashed. "No. She has not." He steps away from them where they had been at Tommy's locker and basically marches to his first class, ignoring their protests. He's late to his class of course, Mrs. Myers trying to reprimand him for his tardiness, something he's grown used to. 

He shuffles to his seat near the back, slumps over his desk, the teacher's voice becoming background noise. His thoughts wander to her. He knows she has Chemistry now. He always told her he didn't know why she was taking the class when she could basically be teaching it. Oliver was always mesmerized by her intelligence, attracted to the way her brain collects data, processes it, then releases it, usually in a babble. He knows he sounds pathetic, and the very thought of her now is both so soothing and upsetting at the same time. He releases a breath, bottles up his emotions and attempts to listen to what his teacher is ranting about. She only keeps them for half hour, noticing everyone's disinterest.

He's at his locker, retrieving his books for his second class when he realises who's in his next class with him. His chest tightens and his palms begin to sweat. He doesn't know why he's so nervous. He's seen her plenty of times since... well since that day. But he knows that it'll be the first time they'll be in such close proximity. It's a senior class, she's a junior, but she's taking this year to fast track her way through high school. 

Oliver puffs his chest as he makes his way to room 320, feigning confidence, not realising how early he is. He holds his breath when he reaches the door, releasing it when he pushes it open. He peaks inside and the sight he's greeted with makes his heart stops and his pulse quickens. This right here, is like the first time he saw her.

Her blonde hair is in its usual ponytail, curly at the end and his hands tighten into fist as the urge to run his hands through them like he used to hits him so hard. Her glasses are perched on her nose, which is scrunched up in that cute way it does when she's reading. He looks down and realises that she is, in fact reading. His eyes travel back to her face, looking into her mesmerizing blue eyes, watching as it moves from one side to the other as she reads each line. His eyes moves to her lips, and he's pretty sure he's about to have a heart attack when he sees she's biting her pink, kissable lips. Oliver clears his throat, finally sensing that maybe he's spent a little too much time looking at her and that she hasn't noticed he's there. She jumps slightly, her head tipping back to spot the intruder. Her curious eyes become hard when she sees him, as if she's angry at him, which is... what the fuck? Oliver doesn't understand. She has no right to be upset with him. He's the one who should be upset. He's reigns in his confusion and rising anger and steps out of the room entrance to his seat.

"Morning", he whispers when he passes her and heads near the back to his seat. He notices that she's switched seats. Her usual spot was beside him. But you can't sit beside someone you hate now huh? He thinks. He looks around, finally realising that no one but them is here. Checking his watch, it reads 8:57 am, which yeah, he's way too early. He entertains the thought of just leaving this awkward situation and coming back later when everyone gets here, but dismisses it because that would not only make things weirder but it'd make him seem cowardly. 

He taps his fingers on his desk, willing the time to pass quicker. His eyes move back to her. Her head is still in her book but he sees the occasional glance his way. Good. He's not the only one affected by this. He's about to just take out his phone to check his messages when the school bell rings. Only, it's not the school bell. It's the fire alarm. Both of them are out of there seat in seconds, eyes roaming the room looking for the threat when it's obvious it's not in there. The alarm sign casts a faint red glow across the room and a daunting feeling sets in his chest. He looks over to her and notices how fast her chest is moving. He moves immediately to ask if she's okay, but is interrupted by the alarm stopping and the intercom coming to life with the sound of Mr. Morgan, the principal speaking.

"Good morning, students of Star City High. Please remain calm at this moment. A fire alarm was pulled in the science block and we are working quickly to handle the situation. In the meantime, please remain where you are. I repeat. Remain where you are. If you are in the hallway, please make your way to the assembly hall. Everyone else is to remain where they are while we work to fix the problem. I will keep you updated. Stay safe students." His voice disappears.

Oliver marches to the door, looking through the small window on the door and studying the hallway. It's empty. He reaches for the handle to pull the door open but is stopped by the voice he hasn't heard in 2 weeks.

"Are you kidding me? Are you stupid or are you deaf?" She screams, her disbelief at his actions clear.

Oliver rears back towards her, surprised that she's speaking to him, which is why it takes him a while to understand what she said. "I'm not staying here when I have no idea what's going on."

"Which is exactly why you SHOULD stay in here."

"What if-"

"No, Oliver, the principal said we should stay here for a reason. Obviously whatever is going on is dangerous. What if it's a chemical leak? He said it was on the science block. Do you want to step outside and have your eyes drop out of your eyes sockets? Do you want to die?" She finishes, her breath coming out in harsh pants. 

He hates to admit it now, but there is logic in what she's saying. Maybe whatever's going on really is dangerous. If he dies because he was stupid enough to go outside of the classroom, his parents would kick his ass. And... maybe this is chance to ask her what went wrong. To understand why she stopped talking to him.

Oliver looks her in the eyes and answers, "Alright. I guess we're stuck in here together, Felicity."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver attempts to get some answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is interesting for you guys.

Oliver walks back to his seat, all the while maintaining eye contact with Felicity. It isn't til after he's seated does she realise she's still looking at him. She snaps her head back around, breaking eye contact so quickly he feels she must've gotten whiplash. Oliver wonders if he should leave her alone. Not push things with her. The few things she said to him just now are the only things she's said to him in 2 weeks. If he pushes things, he might not like her response. But then, he thinks, what does he have to lose? He already lost her if her behavior towards him is any indication. He decides to start with something not painful first.

"The chances of me dying if I went out there are slim to non, you know that, right?", he mumbles, loud enough for her to hear but still low enough not to startle her. Her body tenses at his voice anyhow.

"Yeah, I know. I only said that so you'd shut up and not do something stupid." 

"I know you don't like close spaces, and I saw how affected you were by all this, so I wanted to find a way for us to get out of here." Okay, so maybe that was a little bit too heavy.

She let's out a long sigh, swiping her fingers down the bridge of her nose, obviously having expected him to say something he wasn't supposed to. She turns her body towards him, and he sees the exhaustion in her face for the first time since... well, he hasn't had a good look at her face for a while now. Her eyes are slightly puffy, like she'd been crying and she just looks tired. He doesn't know why. Everything in him screams to find out why she's unhappy and to fix all her problems for her. He knows he can't do that, that even if they were talking now, she wouldn't let him. That she's strong enough to fight her own demons. His heart sinks either way though.

"Look, I know there's an obvious elephant in the room right now, but I don't want to talk about it. It's better that way." Felicity finally says.

"How is not talking about our problems the solution here? Since when did we stop doing that?" It's a harsh blow, he knows it. But his frustrations are getting the best of him, her words more painful than she probably intended for them to be. Why can't she just tell him what he did wrong?

"That's... it's... it's not that easy okay? It's just not." She's close to tears now. It's those damn sad eyes that does it for him. He can't stand to see her hurting, especially because of his actions or words.

"Okay."

His heart soars at the smile that blooms on her face. It isn't a big one, she's still clearly shaken up by everything, but it's there, and its because he's giving her the out. He'll always give her what she wants, always has, even at her protests. He'd hurt if it meant she doesn't have to. If her eyes can shine with happiness, it doesn't matter that his heart still feels half empty. He doesn't know when he became so self sacrificing. But that's the effect Felicity has on him.

They sit in an awkward silence for what feels like hours but is only minutes. He wonders what's taking the school so long to fix whatever happened. At this point he just wants to go home and annoy his little sister. She probably misses Felicity. Thea and Felicity were pretty close before and when Felicity had stopped coming around she'd blamed him because yeah, he's Oliver, he probably did something stupid. Guess he'll never know what though.

"How's Thea?", he hears Felicity ask. He looks up at her and she must see the confusion on his face because she goes on, "you have your Thea Face on. And, before you ask, yes, you have a Thea Face. It's all smiley and a little mischievous and cute..." her eyes widen when she realises what she just said. "Not cute like cute cute. Not that you're not cute, you know that you're hot... this isn't me coming on to you I swear, but," she releases a breath, closes her eyes for a brief second, probably counting down from 3 in her head and continues, "how's Thea?"

He feels butterflies in his stomach at her babble, her mouth going a mile a second something he misses dearly. He remembers the first time she'd dropped her epic babble on him. It was when they'd first met. She was his math tutor and while Oliver wasn't stupid, he strongly believed that math was the devil. He's religiously required to avoid it. That excuse hadn't worked on Felicity though. She'd went on a tangent on the importance of math in everyday life which somehow ended up with her remarking on the blueness of his eyes. Safe to say he was a goner after that.

Oliver smiles at her, then replies, "she's good. She's refusing to let me call her Speedy now, says it's 'totally lame'", he scoffs, "but she's got a dancing recital coming up soon and Mom, Dad and I are excited to go see her." He can't help his growing smile that blossoms on his face. He's really proud of her.

"Yeah, I remember her saying she had a big one coming up. She was worried you guys weren't gonna make it, especially your parents, but I'm glad you guys are going to be there for her." Her eyes have gotten lighter, the mood having obviously lifted. He's glad for it.

"I know, Tommy and I basically had to bully my parents into making it an obligation to make it to this one." He laughs, remember something about the night in particular."Tommy, of course, had to be dramatic and even let out his 'award winning puppy eyes'. My parents almost kicked him out right then."

Felicity giggles, the sound so delightful and sunshiny, he swears his eyes have turned into hearts. She adds, "I always told him no one takes him seriously when he does that." 

"Yeah, I don't think he's getting the message at all."

"It's like Diggle always says, telling Tommy to stop being so extra, even a little bit, is like asking him to level up. It only gets worse." Oliver's holding his stomach as he ducks his head in a hearty laugh, gasping for breath. He looks up and finds Felicity looking at him with a soft look in her eye. For some reason, her reaction sobers him. He sits up, and they look at each in a way that would not be considered a platonic one. He wants so much to reach for her face and bring lips to hers. To savour them. To refamiliarize himself with the taste of her mouth, and the skin of her jaw and neck and to nip at her chest, moving to the tops of her breast- 

He snaps himself out of that train of thought, realising that her expression has turned wary, obviously wondering where his mind has gone. Yeah she definitely would not appreciate what was on his mind just now. 

"Uhh... how are you? I mean, elephant in the room aside...", Oliver finally says, breaking whatever trance they were in.

"I've... I'm doing not very well?", she says it like a question as if she wants him to have an answer. He doesn't. But he sympathizes with her though. Truly wants whatever is causing her to hurt to go away. He'd fight it if it were something physical. It's then that his mind supply that maybe he's what the problem is. He's the one that did something wrong right? Except he honestly doesn't know what he could've done wrong. She'd just come to him that Friday 2 weeks ago, a sobbing mess, saying she couldn't do this anymore and asking him over and over again "what if you do the same thing". He had no clue what that meant then. Or what it means now. She hadn't given him a chance to understand what was going on with her.

He went to her house, basically stalking her. He'd called and texted her an uncountable amount of times, going crazy over what he did wrong. He didn't sleep for 48 hours, only doing so when John and Tommy basically forced him to. She didn't show up to their shared class either week, purposefully avoiding him in the hallways as well. Each glimpse of her was more heartbreaking than the last, because there she was, looking so broken but yet still so beautiful. Whatever it was that happened, whatever he did that broke them, he'd beat himself up trying to figure it out. And yeah, he's only 18, shouldn't feel so strongly about this one person. He does though. And he can't change it, doesn't see how his heart will ever belong to someone else. Even now, battered and broken and confused, it belongs to her.

"I hope that whatever it is that's caused you so much pain goes away", Oliver says, as softly as possible, pouring everything into those words.

"Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic should be finished before New Years, though my update schedule is irregular.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver tries harder in pushing for answers and is surprised by what he finds out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the reveal isn't anti-climactic. (Though after re-reading it a few times, I'm and convinced that it is). Merry Christmas to everyone that celebrates it.

Oliver and Felicity fall into easy conversation for a while, avoiding the heavy topics, which, in hindsight is pretty hard for him. He hasn't thought about much else for days now but he somehow manages to talk to her without falling apart. The way they're speaking to each now is much like the way they spoke to each other before they were a "thing" last year. They'd both liked each other, but were afraid of confronting those feelings. Afraid of rejection, afraid of what may happen if in the end, they end up losing each other. It's ironic how the tables have turned. They've already lost each other, and they can't even face their feelings now.

"So are you ready to go to MIT this fall?", Oliver asks. MIT has always been a dream of hers, her drive to study computer science and cyber security there the reason she's graduating her junior year. She'd had no worries she'd get in - she was a genius after all, and they'd be stupid not to - but expressed her distress about whether or not they'd grant her a scholarship. She'd worried for nothing, because in the end she got a full scholarship. She was going to live her dream, she'd made her parents proud and he'd never been happier for someone in his life. 

Oliver himself is going to Harvard, which yeah he would've gotten into anyway because of his parents' money and influence. But he'd actually worked for it this past year and earned his place there. Since he met Felicity that is. He'd like to say that he wasn't a bad student, or a bad person overall, before, because yeah, he was given everything without asking, never worked for anything in his life. He'd like to say he knew somewhat that he was privileged. That he had it far better than most anyone at the whole school. But he'd used that to his advantage, turning in work done with minimum effort, or just not turning it in at all. He didn't treat people like shit, but he knows that he could've been nicer. He wasn't a womanizer, but a few more years, and he could've been well on his way. After he met Felicity, someone who is the very representation of hardworking, he had put things in perspective.

How is it fair that she has to work 3 times as hard for benefits he has thrown at him for simply having the Queen last name? How is it that she can have not nearly as much as him, have people treat her like shit simple because of her genius brain, but still be so kind to others, no matter what? How is it that she can love the people around her so hard, but he couldn't even find it in himself to be in a week long relationship with a girl? 

He'd asked himself all these questions, and he'd decided that he couldn't continue down the road he was headed because he knew that given time, not only would the people around him not like who he became, but he wouldn't either. And he wouldn't have changed for the better without Felicity, which she denies everytime he mentions it. Telling him that he's a good person and that he would have come to his senses eventually. He'd joked about how if he hadn't met her, he would've probably had to be stranded on an island to change because it would've been too late anyway.

Felicity's voice breaks him from his thoughts. "I've never been more ready for anything in my life. My mom's driving me crazy with planning and packing and I haven't even graduated yet. But I know she's just anxious about me leaving for college, especially at just 17 even though I keep reminding her it isn't that young and I could've gone last year when I was 16 but decided to stay a bit for HER. But we're just excited... stressed but excited is how I'm feeling about the whole thing." She finally let's out a breath after her mini rant. Closing her eyes after second to gather her bearings. He keeps the fact that she hasn't mentioned her father to himself for later examination. 

He's excited for her future there. He's reminded then of the future they had planned on having together come fall.

At first, it hadn't mattered what college he went to, then when he and Felicity got together and he fell in love with her, he knew he couldn't be too far from her. He'd decided on Harvard, mostly because of the distance to Felicity. It was perfect. They'd wouldn't have to do long distance. They could get an apartment together, go to classes during the days/night, it wouldn't matter, then come home to each other. He didn't think he'd heard of a more perfect future. He can't have that future now though. He almost begs her to take him back right then.

"I'll tell you one thing I'll miss about Star City though," he says, clearly trying to change the subject. Her brows scrunch up in confusion, then smooths out when she realises what he must have been thinking. She gives him a small smile, letting him have this, "Big Belly Burger. No other burger joint in Boston can compare if we're being honest."

"Well, I haven't tried any of them in Boston, but I'm pretty sure you're right. I'll definitely miss getting the double cheese burger stacked with-"

"Crispy turkey bacon-"

"With curly fries-"

"Dipped in a double chocolate milkshake," they finish saying together. They both start laughing remembering their favorite order at their favorite restaurant. When Oliver looks up from where he'd ducked his head in laughter, Felicity's looking at him softly again. Her eyes are shining in the way they used to before everything went to shit between them. He doesn't know when he'd moved from where he was sitting 2 rows behind her during their conversation but now they're sitting next to each other and he's certainly not complaining. His eyes flicker down to her lips and he's reminded of the first time he'd kissed them. It was at the library at the spot they usually had their tutoring sessions. It was after he'd taken a big math exam and because of her guidance, he'd received an A-. He was feeling happy about his results, happy because she'd helped him make it possible and also bursting at the seams to tell her how much he liked her.

After he'd expressed his gratitude, she had bit her lip shyly and he'd made up his mind right that second. He had raised his hand to her face, using his thumb to ease her bottom lip from between her teeth and he felt more than heard her breath catch it her throat. He then used his index finger to tip her chin up towards him and brought his face towards her, putting his lips a breath away from hers, waiting for her to close the distance. When she did, Oliver's whole body began to buzz, a roar in his ears so load it was almost deafening and he felt every hair on his body stand on edge. It was like static had run through him. When they pulled away, they kept their foreheads touching, smiles on their lips broadening, cheeks getting red. He didn't want to stop kissing her after that and he vowed not to.

Oliver raises his eyes back to her face - her soft beautiful face - and reaches across the space between their desk to hold her hand. She swallows swiftly, the contact affecting her just as much as it's affecting him. 

"Felicity..." 

She closes her eyes, and purses her lips. She looks like she's in deep thought. Like she's having an internal battle with herself, struggling to open up to him. He squeezes her hand in support and also wanting, needing her to make the right choice here. To let him know what's caused all of this.

She opens her eyes and he knows. Knows that she reached a decision. She's going to tell him. He doesn't know what pushes her to make that choice. Maybe it's because she feels sorry for him, and pities him because it's clear he's still miserable. Deep down though he knows it's not that, that she'd never pity him. Maybe she's just tired of keeping it in, because as far as he knows, no one, not even her best friend Iris knows what's happening with her. Or maybe this is a sign that she wants to get back together with him, wants to take that first step. He doubts that though. Isn't stupid enough to think some time in a closed class room alone can fix their problems. She squeezes his hand back, and looks into his eyes.

"Oliver, the reason I broke up with you is because-"

"Students of Star City High, the situation has been cleared and deemed safe. Administration has alerted your parents and guardians, most of which are already here for pick up. The broad has decided the day has been traumatizing enough, so please go home and make the most of the wasted day. Please leave in an orderly manner. Thank you." The voice on the intercom cuts Felicity off and Oliver swears he'll punch that man in his face the next time he sees him.

He looks back towards her, and tightens him grip on her hand, begging her to finish her sentence. He sees the look in her eyes and almost curses out loud. She's withdrawing into herself. Second guessing her decision to open up.

"You know what, I don't think this is a good idea."  
She makes way to get up, loosening her hold on his hand so quickly, as if it burned. He tightens his hold, keeping her from getting up.

"Oliver, my mom's probably here. I need to let her know I'm okay", she says with a sigh, but he can hear the fear in her voice. The tension grows almost as quick as his anger does.

"No Felicity. You have to stop doing this. What is going on with you?", he begs.

"Oliver I-"

"Is it something I did? Did I do something to you? Did I hurt you?", he's almost hysterical at this point. His heartbeat has picked up, beating so loudly he wonders if she can hear it.

Felicity shakes her head from side to side and answers, "Look I just think it's better if we stop this," she motions between to two of them, "before we regret it."

"But why? What's so wrong about us? And who says we'll regret this? The only thing I regret right now is not treating you better. Maybe then you wouldn't have left." He didn't think it was possible but his heart breaks even more as he confesses this, trying to comprehend what she means.

"What, no. Stop... that's... that's... not what I meant... you didn't do anything I swear-"

"So then why the hell did you leave me?!", he's out of his seat, his anger at its peak as he thugs his hand out of hers and stares down at her, trying to figure out what went wrong. Except he can't. He can't read her mind, can't put himself in her shoes, because she's barely even willing to let him in at this point. Her eyes begin to water and his heart shatters all over again.

He lowers his voice, his mind spinning as he attempts to figure it out. "Was it because we were moving too fast? Do you not want us to get the apartment together anymore? I can totally understand that. We can take it slow if you want to. Is this about MIT? Did they take away the scholarship or something? I swear, it doesn't matter where you end up, I'll go anywhere with you... or maybe this is...", he gulps, voicing the one thing that would absolutely destroy him if it turns out to be true. "Maybe you don't love me anymore. Do you not think of me that way anymore?"

She's full on sobbing when she shouts, "My father left us, okay? He left us."

He's stunned into silence. He wasn't expecting THAT. Though he should have. Didn't he just notice how she hadn't mentioned her father once the whole time here?

Felicity continues, "And yeah, I'm 17, who cares if he leaves right? Well apparently I do. What is so wrong with me that he would leave? What did I do wrong? Why wasn't I good enough?" 

He sits back down, and reaches for her hand. She flinches at the contact but doesn't move it. She's not done talking though. "My parents always faught and deep down I knew they weren't happy. So I tried to be a good daughter. I knew he was stressed with work and from fighting with my mom, and I didn't wanna add to that so I tried my best not to. I just... we were close, Oliver. At least I thought we were. He helped me pull apart and put together devices all the time, even helped me build my first computer when I was 7. On Thursday night when my mom and him were fighting, it got so bad, the worst I've ever heard it get. He packed his things in a suitcase, came into my room and told me to take care of myself and then he was gone. Just gone. 

"At first, I was in denial. He wouldn't just leave would he? Then I went to their room and saw my mom crying and I just knew that he was gone for good. I had never felt so alone in my life, I knew I had my mom but somehow I just know I'd just be burdening her more if I brought my problems to her and then what if she leaves me too? Right in that moment I was hit with the need to be in your arms. To be wrapped up in your comfort and support and to never leave it. I was half way to your house when I realised that... well, what if you leave too? What if you decided like my dad did that I wasn't enough for you to stay?"

Her tear stained face twists and she brings her hands up to wipe at them. She adds, "I made the choice to end things before the inevitable happens. Before you could leave me, I left you," she let's out a loud sob," and I'm sorry for making you think it's something you did. It wasn't. It was me."

His phone rings right at that moment and a second after he can hear the faint buzz of hers. He doesn't want to answer it. He wants whoever it is to fuck off so he can tell Felicity how wrong she is about all this. To let her know that there's nothing wrong with her and that her dad's an asshole and that'd he be happy to punch him for her, multiple times. He doesn't get to though because she whispers a small excuse me and moves to the corner of the room to talk to the person (probably her mom) privately. He's then forced to answer his. He doesn't even look at the caller ID, just swipes accept and growls out a "what?" in to the phone. 

"Oh Oliver, we've been worried sick about you! They called your father and I an hour ago to inform us of an incident that caused the whole school to go on lock down and we've been worried sick! Are you okay? Are you hurt? Is Tommy with you? Are you hungry? Do you need us to come pick you up? You don't have to drive, we-"

Oliver cuts her off before she can go on another tangent, all the while keeping his eyes on Feicity, taking in the way she only nods every few seconds and only gives short answers. She looks so disconnected from everything. He knows her mind is a thousand miles away. "I'm fine mom, I was stuck in a classroom the entire time. I'll drive home, see you soon." He rushes to end the call because he sees Felicity has ended hers as well and is making her way back to her desk.

His mom rushes out, "Okay well, we'll see you when you get home. Drive safe."

He cuts the phone off just as Felicity begins to gather the few books and her school bag that were laid out on the desk.

"How are you getting home?", he asks.

"Oh... um. I'm taking the bus. My mom has the car and she has a double shift right now so she's can't come pick me up", she finishes softly, clearly exhausted from the emotional toll of the last few minutes.

"Uhh... well, I'm driving... do you want a ride?" He knows he's pushing his luck, that she'll probably say no but it's worth a try because he misses her so damn much, needs more time with her to make her understand that he wouldn't leave her and that her thinking that there's something wrong with her is just her grief over her father leaving making her think irrationally. He knows that he can't fix this for her, that once she thinks about it, she'll remember how strong she is. And now that he's had some time with her after not having any for so long, he's craving it even more.

She bites her lip, clearly in contemplation. He can see her weighing the options in her head, knows that she wants more time with him too but is worried about what might be said and what might happen. He doesn't know what influences her to make this decision but she nods her head and says yes after looking into his eyes for a brief second.

They both make their way towards the door and he opens it, allowing her to step out first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter might be up tomorrow. Also, I would really appreciate feedback on my writing and how I can make it better. (No being an asshole though)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity and Oliver talk and things take a turn for the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last *official* chapter. Enjoy

As they leave room 320 and begin their trek down the hallway, steadily ignoring collision with the other students in a hurry to leave as well, Felicity turns to Oliver and says, “I need to get some stuff out of my locker.”

“Oh, yeah… sure. Lead the way.”

They start walking towards her locker and Oliver’s never felt as conflicted as he feels right now. On one hand, he’s elated that he has more time with her. After being deprived of it for 2 weeks, he feels like all is right in the world again. Felicity’s by his side once more, and he finally feels like himself. During his time away from her, he’d always felt like a zombie walking these hallways; felt half awake hanging with his friends, felt like he was barely there when he was at home. He feels like himself now though. He’s whole again.

On the other hand, he knows she isn’t happy, that her heart is still broken – so is his if he’s being honest but he’s not what’s important here – and that she isn’t herself. How can he be happy if she isn’t? He had already promised himself that he wouldn’t stop until she can see that her dad leaving has nothing to do with her and that he wouldn’t ever leave her, but now he’s determined. He will literally stop at nothing. 

They’re almost at her locker when he hears someone calling his name. He glances behind him and sees both Diggle and Tommy approaching them. He sees the way both their eyes widen at seeing both of them together. He signals with his eyes to keep it cool.

“Hey Felicity. Long time no see.” Tommy says when they’re standing face to face. They stand to the side of the hallway to avoid blocking others trying to get by.

Oliver notices Felicity tense up at his words and almost hits Tommy for being so obvious. Could he maybe try not to make her uncomfortable about the whole thing? He knows he probably doesn’t mean anything by it, but he’d rather them not making it seem like her absence was that noticeable, which he knows will make her feel worse, even if she thinks she was doing the right thing.

Diggle rolls his eyes and speaks up. “It’s good to see you Felicity. I was beginning to think you were purposefully avoiding me or something.” He says it with a teasing smile, instantly getting a giggle from Felicity. They’d always had an easy going friendship, something about Diggle always calming her. He’d be jealous but knows Diggle loves his girlfriend, Lyla.

“I’d never,” Felicity says, then sobers quickly, letting out a sigh as her smile disappears, “I’m sorry for ghosting on you guys.” She steps forward and places a reassuring hand on both their shoulders, having to stand on her toes to do so. She steps back and continues, “I’ve just been really… busy.” Her eyes flicker to Oliver as she says this and he feels a pang of hurt because, yeah, he’s basically the reason she hadn’t seen them.

“It’s okay Smoak, just as long as you make time to hang out with your favorite friend soon.” Tommy says with what he must think is a charming smirk, but really just looks like he’s in pain.

They all burst out in laughter at Tommy’s antics, and he places a hand over his heart feigning hurt.

“I’ll have my people call your people.” Felicity says, barely containing her smile. Oliver’s heart pounds loudly in his chest; happy in this moment to hear her laugh and see her smile, especially after having heard what’s causing her heartache.

“We’ll hold you to that,” Diggle supplies, beginning to step away, “I’ll see you later Felicity.” He obviously sees that they need some time alone to talk because he smiles at her then slaps a hand on Oliver’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze, basically wishing him good luck. How Dig always knows what to say or do, he’ll never know, but he’s grateful for it. He makes eye contact with him next, muttering a stern “Oliver” as he passes and then he’s gone.

Tommy is slower to leave, trying to act nonchalant when it’s clear he’s wants to ease his way into finding out what’s going on. He hates not knowing things but for now, Oliver’s going to need him to leave. 

“I’ll tell my mom you’re okay when I get home. See ya, buddy.” Oliver asserts. He knows he’s obviously trying to get him to go away, but he doesn’t care at this point.

Tommy pouts at them, and he sees Felicity giggle then puts on a serious face. “Fine, I’ll talk to you later and you will tell me everything.” Oliver cringes at him once again making things grossly awkward. He just nods, knowing continuing the conversation will only make him stay longer, which he certainly does not want.

Tommy marches off, satisfied with the prospect of getting information later on.

Oliver and Felicity begin walking again, not as cautious this time as the hallway has begun clearing up. They arrive at her locker and she fills in the combination number before opening it. He leans on the locker beside hers and looks at her, something he’s done a number of times when they were together, he realises.

“I’m sorry about Tommy. He can be a little… how do I put this nicely?” he’s interrupted by her quiet laugher as she shoves a book into her bag.

“You don’t have to apologize for Tommy. I know how he is.” She shuts the locker when she’s done, places her book bag on her shoulder then leans on her locker, facing him as well. “Plus, I get their reaction. I haven’t been particularly social these past 2 weeks.” She says it in a self deprecating tone.

“Yeah, because you were sad about your dad and trying to avoid me, and I might add, you shouldn’t have to lose friends because you’re not talking to me.” Oliver defends.

“I didn’t intend on doing that… and you have to know how hard this has been for me.”

“Well, yeah, I get that but not even Iris knew what was up with you. Everyone’s been worried about you.”

She lowers her head then, whispering so lowly he can barely hear, “I mean in terms of avoiding you.”

Oh. Well then that’s interesting, he thinks. So she missed him. He shouldn’t feel a flutter in his heart at her words, but he does. Shouldn’t feel his breath speeding up or blood pumping quicker, but he does. This just means that all isn’t lost for them. He’d honestly just intended on helping her come to terms that there’s nothing wrong with her and that he wouldn’t leave her, but he didn’t think that anything would come out of it. His was doing this with the intention to help her, not himself. Some part of his brain supplies that she never actually stopped loving him. She’d simple forgot that he’d loved her too. He silences that voice for now though because the focus is still on making her see her own strength and dismissing her misplaced blame on herself.

Oliver looks around and realizes that the hallway is near empty.

“Let’s not have this conversation here, okay?” he says finally.

“Okay, let’s go.”

 

\----------------------------------------------------------

 

They settle inside his car and buckle their seatbelts then Oliver starts the car and drives off. It isn’t until they’ve left the parking lot that he realizes he doesn’t know where they’re going. Well, he knows that he’s giving her a ride home, but should they have the conversation there? Should he drive to his house instead? Or maybe they should go to Big Belly Burger. He doesn’t know why he’s stressing over this. It doesn’t really matter where they have the conversation, just as long as she gets to hear what he has to say. But he wants her to be somewhere that’s she comfortable, so maybe the mansion isn’t such a good idea. Maybe they should go to– 

“It’s been one of the hardest couple of days in my life and not just because of my dad, but because I couldn’t share any of it with you.”

Guess we’re having it here then.

He glances over at her and notices how sad her eyes are. Her expression is heartbreaking as she stares back at him, the regret, embarrassment, insecurities and hurt shining through. He’s speechless for a second, but then his determination makes it presence known. He focuses back at the road but begins to talk, deciding not to start too heavy.

“And what made you think I wouldn’t listen?” 

He can feel her staring at him, mouth agape, confused at his response. He doesn’t turn to look at her because he doesn’t want to lose concentration on the a few cars on the road, which surprises him at first but then he looks at the time on the dashboard and sees it’s only minutes to 12 in the afternoon. Everyone else is still at school and work, only leaving the persons from his high school on the road, among those from the daily commute at this time.

She doesn’t respond at first leading him to believe that she’s just ending the conversation here but then he hears her say softly, still looking at him. “I told you before Oliver, I ended things because I was afraid you eventually would.”

“That doesn’t answer my question to be honest. I’ve been listening to your problems for a little more than a year now, right?”

She hesitates before answering; clearly thinking this is a trap. But he knows she knows he’s right. For as long as they’d been together and even before that, they’d been there for one another. He’d tell her about his parents and how they were barely there for him and his sister, how they expected so much from him but he couldn’t remember the last time he could count on them to show up to one of his games, or his sister’s dance recitals. She’d tell him about how her parents’ fights were gaining frequency and how worried she’d been about her MIT scholarship. They knew the big things and the little things, but at the end of the day, they’d always been there for one another.

Which is why the past 2 weeks have been so much more painful, to be honest.

She lets out a soft sigh and a weak, “Right.”

“And if I’ve been listening to your problems for so long, if I’ve been here for you for so long, why would that stop now? What made you think I wouldn’t listen?”

His voice has increased volume steadily, his anger growing quicker than he thought it would because they’ve barely said anything yet. Guess he has a lot of pent up anger still.

Apparently, her frustrations had grown as well, because he’s shocked when he hears her practically scream, “My dad’s been my dad for 17 years! Didn’t stop him from wanting to stop being my dad now did it?”

Oliver checks for any incoming cars and swerves the car into park at the corner of the road. Felicity goes still, obviously not expecting that action.  
As calmly as he can muster at that moment, Oliver turns to her and says the one thing he’s been meaning to without really realizing it. 

“Felicity, I’m not your father.”

The car is deafeningly silent after that.

Good. He has more to say. 

“I love you, so much.” She lets out a quiet sob at his declaration. “And I know that you know that,” she starts shaking her head at his words and he’s even more convinced at this point. “You do. You know it. But this isn’t about whether or not I love you, it’s about you believing that just because your dad left, you’re not good enough. And I know it’s much more than me. It’s your mom. It’s Iris,” she’s shaking her head again, tears spilling from her eyes. He reaches across the space, grabbing hold of her hands. The position they’re in is uncomfortable, but it’ll have to do. “It’s the people you care about most. But not one of us, not a single one of us is your father. And I know you know that.”

He reaches for her chin and tilts her face up towards him from where she’d bowed her head. 

“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t know that. Tell me you don’t know that your mom isn’t him. That Iris isn’t him, that your friends aren’t him. That I’m not him.” His voice breaks at his last words. He needs her to see this, for her to realize that it’s all in her mind. He looks deep into her eyes and wills her to believe otherwise.

He knows that she knows they aren't him. He can see her searching her soul, dispelling her beliefs that like her father, the people around her will leave. Felicity is a logical person who rarely puts emotion over actual facts and figures. It's why she was so drawn to computers. They are ones and twos, plain and simple. He's presented her with logical information and he knows that her brain is hardwired to see the logic that's presented to her. 

Her emotions had clouded her logic, but as he looks at her calculating his words, separating what her mind has made up, from what is actually the truth, he knows that that's no longer the case.

“I do, I know you’re not him.” 

He releases a huge breath, closing the gap between them and touching their foreheads together. He closes his eyes and breathes her in. He savors this moment, being so close to her again. It’s like waking up after a bad dream, it’s cleansing and purifying. He feels her swallow heavily, knowing she’s feeling the same. And what he says next is out of his mouth before he can stop it.

“How could you feel like you’re not good enough?”

She tenses immediately at his words and he has no idea what’s going on inside that genius mind of hers. He’s done half of what he came out to do, or really, maybe just a portion. He’s realizing now that this can’t be fixed in one day. Felicity will probably need some sort of professional help and right then and there he feels so much hatred for her father. He’s hurt her emotionally enough for her to feel like she’s not good enough for the people she cares for to stick around, and though he knows he’s convinced her enough to make her realize she knows that those people are not her father and that they will not leave her, she’ll likely still feel like there’s something wrong with her for a while.

He set out on this one man mission to help her save herself and now he’s realizing that he can’t do this alone.

What he can do though is stick by her side for as long as she’ll have him, and remind her every time she needs reassurance that her father leaving is only at the fault of him being an asshole, not because of anything that has to do with her.

“Wait, don’t answer that.” he says faintly.

“No, I wanna say something. I see what you’re trying to do and I appreciate it. I know you aren’t my dad, I do, and I’m coming to terms that cutting everyone off wasn’t the best way to go about things. When he left, my mind sort of fell into a loop. My dad left because of me, so everyone will leave because of me,”

“Felicity,”

“No, its okay just let me finish. I was in a bad space, made very bad decisions – breaking up with you being a key one – but I don’t want to be a person who pushes people away. I don’t want to be alone and it took me a while to realize that I never was. I’m still struggling with everything. I still don’t know if I’m worth all the trouble, but talking to you today and opening up about how I feel has been amazing and I don’t want to stop that.”

Oliver’s pretty sure he’s crying by the time she has stopped talking. He can’t believe what he’s hearing. It’s so much better than what he was expecting, so much more hopeful than he could’ve dreamed it to be.

He pulls her back to him, hugging her as best he can in the cramped car space and is at a lost for how long he holds her. He swears then to get her all the help she needs so she can continue talking enough to see that she’s worth all the trouble in the world.

He eventually pulls back towards the road and decides to drop her home, figuring that she probably just wants the day to end. She spends the entire ride looking at him, and he's a little flustered with all the attention that he hasn't had the privilege of getting days ago. She fills him in on the non painful things that's happened to her in the past 2 weeks, and he does the same. It feels... It feels normal, a little awkward at times when it's obvious they're trying to ignore mentioning the bad things, but he eventually just shares those too, because they'd never been the type to ignore telling each other everything. She eventually starts doing the same and he knows she feels as good as he does by the end of it.

They arrive at her house and he parks by her front lawn, at a lost for what happens now. Does he just let her leave so she can have some time to herself to sort out her feelings some more? Or should he try and convince her a little more? Maybe that would be pushing it.

The decision is taken away from him when she says, "Do you want to come up? My mom's not home so it'll just be me until later tonight."

How can he say no to that? He nods his head and they both get out of the car, walking up to her door where she pulls out her set of keys and opens it. He's uncertain at first as where they should go, but Felicity doesn't even slow her trek, heading upstairs to her bedroom immediately. 

It's exactly the same as it's always been, computer parts scattered on her work desk, her bed made and her room somewhat tidy. She has up pictures of her and her friends and he's suprised to see pictures of them together still hanging as well.

She must see the surprise on his face because she comments while putting her stuff down on her bed, "Yeah I couldn't take those down. It was like tearing off a limb, which I realise is a really bad analogy cause I have no idea how that feels?"

She's nervous. And yeah, so is he because the classroom aside, this is the closest they've been in a while and there is guaranteed no interruptions for a while. Under different circumstances, they'd already be making out, testing the lines of something more. He pushes that from his brain for now.

"Oh," she echoes, "do you want something to eat? I'm just realizing that we hadn't even made it to lunch today."

Oliver shakes his head. "No, I'm craving something else right now."

Huh. So it's not that far from his brain.

Felicity blushes fiercely at his words, and then in an instant she's kissing him. It takes him a while to realize what's going on, his brain not being able to process anything at the moment. As soon as his body is functioning again, he kisses her back, pouring everything into the kiss, his anger at her not telling him sooner, the hurt he'd felt in those 2 weeks, the heartbreak he still feels for her now and most importantly, all his love for her. He wraps his arms around her back, pulling her flush against him.

Her hands are everywhere at once, on his cheeks, around his shoulders, sliding down his chest. She breaks away from the kiss for a second, muttering, "I missed you so much." Then easing back into it. It's her words that make him realize that he needs her to hear him say this one last thing.

He slows the kiss down and eases himself from her slightly, so she can see into his eyes when he says, "As long as there's breath in me, and as long as you'll need me, I'll never leave you."

She swallows heavily then replies, "You can't possibly know that." But it's not said with spite or hurt or distrust. "Somewhere in here," she points to her heart, "I know you wouldn't leave by choice, but something could happen to you Oliver, something that you can't possibly expect."

At first he's confused by what she means, but then it hits him that yeah, he could very well die the minute he walks out that door and that fate stops for no one. 

He nods his head then, "Okay, well let me fix my statement, I'll never willingly leave you." And he means it. He knows that he loves her with everything in his heart. The way she makes him feel is the best part of his life. She's it for him.

"I can work with that." She says, tipping on her toes to continue kissing him.

He pulls back further though, stopping her from kissing him again. Her brows furrow in confusion and he asks her seriously, "I need you to promise me 2 things okay?"

She looks hesitant at first, but eventually nods, giving him this.

"You have to talk to somebody about all of this. About how you feel like you're not good enough or worth the trouble. I don't think that's something you should ignore or let fester, and while I'd love to say it'll go away on it's own, it probably won't unless you actively try to find a way." He says it cautiously, not wanting to overstep but needing for it to be said and for her to hear.

She contemplates it, thinking it over, probably testing the logic in his suggestion. "You're right. I'd basically already kinda sorta implied that I would? Like I said, I want to talk about this more. And it might be scary but I think that's the right thing to do."

He's so happy about her response that he kisses her again, deepening it immediately, almost forgetting that he isn't finished. Luckily she does.

She pulls back, "And the second thing?"

"Oh. These past 2 weeks without talking to you have been not good. And now that I know why, it's even more painful. But I want you to promise to talk to me."

She tilts her head to the side, not understanding what he means. He sighs, then continues.

"I know that at the time you had your reasons for not coming to me, but please, whenever you're feeling that way again, please talk to me. I dont know if I'm strong enough to experience what I experienced these past few days again." His voice is shaky as he says this and he has to clear his throat to regain some sort of control.

She looks at him with soft eyes and reaches for his face, setting her hands on his cheeks and rubbing circles into them with her thumbs. 

"Oliver, I love you and I'm sorry for what I put us through."

"You don't have to apologize."

"I do. I'll always feel guilty about this. But I promise you I'll try." She gives him a small smile, willing him to believe her. And he does.

"That's all I ask."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Felicity isn't completely okay, but she's definitely on her way, which is what I think is best for this story. 
> 
> Please, I'd love some feedback on this.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus Chapter: After two years, Felicity is ready to move on with her life and the future has never looked brighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure if I was going to write this, and it took me a few tries but here it is. Enjoy!

2 years later

 

Felicity sighs as she enters her apartment, immediately shedding her jacket and shoes, simultaneously ridding herself of the stress of the day as well. Between an early lecture at 8 in the morning, a tutor session with a freshman, an afternoon shift at the café and her final official therapy session, like, ever, she’s physically and mentally drained and rightfully so.

She moves inside the space and spots Oliver at their small dinner table with a few textbooks out and a highlighter between his teeth, his head deep in the books. At the sight of him, everything falls away. She gains a pep her step and all her worries about making the right choice to stop seeing her therapist and her grievances about that particularly rude business man that she’d served today vanishes. It’s like nothing else matters when he’s around. It’s amazing.

She scurries over to him and flings her arms around his neck, taking him by surprise for once. 

“Hey, babe. I didn’t hear you come in.” He tilts his head all the way back, giving her access to his lips, and she bends down and she gladly attaches hers to his. It’s a little awkward, seeing as it’s very spiderman-and-MaryJane-kiss-in-the-rain style, but as soon as his lips are on hers, her mind jumps starts and blacks out all at once. She takes hold of his bottom lip and bites it softly, then tugs on it playfully. He growls low in his throat and Felicity’s skin catches on fire.

They pull away eventually, eyes dark with lust, the promise of later shining in their eyes. She sits down on the chair across from his and remarks, “Your ninja skills seem to be rubbing off on me. Either that or you’re losing your touch.”

He laughs lightly at her teasing before responding, “Trust me, my ninja skills are still in peak condition. Though you know my kryptonite is Math. I’m still studying for this exam so I had to use all my brainpower to focus.”

She shakes her head at his words. “How’s your studying going though?”

He looks down at the scattered books around him, then back at her, rolling the highlighter skillfully around his fingers. He answers sheepishly, “It’s… going.”

She tilts her head sideways and let’s out an exasperated sigh, not letting this go. It’s not like he isn’t smart, because he is incredibly intelligent, but for some reason, math has always been the bane of his existence. But, it’s also the reason they even met so it can’t be that bad. “Oliver.”

He sighs, knowing she won’t back down from this. “I’ll get there eventually. But that’s enough about me. How was your session with Mrs. Blake?”

Felicity eyes him suspiciously but lets it go for now, figuring that she’ll just help him later if things aren’t looking good for him. Then she smiles brightly, remembering how her therapy session today went. Her last therapy session ever; officially anyway.

“I actually have some pretty exciting news to share about that,” she says.

“Yeah?” Oliver encourages her to continue.

“Well, you know how at the beginning of the year Mrs. Blake changed my visitation schedule from twice a month to once a month?”

It had been a collective decision between her therapist and herself. After having started out at the end of high school by visiting weekly, she’d began suggesting larger hiatuses between each visit after about a year, telling her how much she’d progressed. At first she had worried, didn’t know if she could trust herself not to fall into her own mind and begin second guessing how far she’d really come. But then she realized how much she’d really grown over a year. How she didn’t find herself questioning if today was the day Oliver or her mother would leave. How that feeling she got, that something was wrong with her, was lessening and lessening with each mentally exhausting session they had. 

She’d spent half a year visiting twice a month then another half, leading up to now, going only once. And Oliver had been there through it all. When she came home raw and crying and questioning everything, he had held her in his arms, his hold solid and unmoving. When she came home angry and pissed at her non progress (or what she thought at the time to be no progress) he’d been there to assure her, to convince her that she was getting somewhere. And when she came home happy, feeling hopeful and repaired, he’d celebrated with her and cheered her on. Throughout all of it, he never forgot to mention how proud he was of her for opening up and for trying. 

She doesn’t know how she ever doubted his love for her.

“Yeah?” he says, pulling her from her mind and back to the conversation.

She moves her chair closer to him, the table no longer a barrier between them, and grabs a hold on his hands. “Well today she told me that I didn’t have to visit regularly anymore.”

He opens his mouth, like he’s going to speak, then closes it after a second. He opens it again, looking very much like a fish.

“Wow.” Is all he manages to get out. And yeah, she gets the reaction because she was pretty shocked when Mrs. Blake suggested it too. The first thing that came to her mind was, ‘am I ready to stop?’ and she’d been surprised when the answer came pretty quickly. She wasn’t the same person she was two years ago when her Dad left and she’d learnt that him leaving was only at the fault of one person. And it wasn’t her or her mother. 

“And what did you tell her?” Oliver eventually asks.

“I told her that I agreed.”

Oliver stares into her eyes, searching her soul for answers she knows are clear as day on her features.

“It’s been a long journey. You know that better than anyone. But I’m ready to put this behind me. I’m no longer that girl who’s afraid of getting hurt by the people she loves because I know now better than ever that they love me too. I know that there’s nothing wrong with me, well other than my lack of brain to mouth filter.” She chuckles softly. “I know my father’s a selfish asshole who didn’t deserve all those tears I shed for him and wasn’t worth 2 years of me attempting to fix my shattered heart.

“I know all these things, and Mrs. Blake knows these things and I know you knew these things all along. So yes, I agreed to stop visiting regularly. But that’s not to say that I can’t go back when things are particularly hard, or if I forget that I was never the problem. But for now, I’m ready to put this all behind me and move on with my life. With you.”

By the time she’s done she’s breathless, her chest moving in harsh pants because she knows that this is a big moment in her life. It took her 2 years but she’s finally over it.

She’s so caught up in the moment that it takes her a while to notice the proud grin on Oliver’s face and the shine in his eyes as he’s close to tears.

He pulls them both to their feet and then hauls her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her with an arm gathered on her waist and the other on the back of her neck, holding her to him. “I’m so proud of you,” she hears him mumble where his head in buried in her neck.

At his words, she feels tears tracing down her face. She feels a rush at his praise and oh so happy she can make him proud.

He pulls her back then kisses her tears away, whispering ‘I’m so proud’ over and over again as he begins peppering kisses all over his face. She’s a giggling mess in an instant, her heart light as a feather.

He pulls back once again, finally finding lengthy words to say. “You’ve come such a long way and I’m so glad you made this decision for you. I’ve seen you work so hard to become whole again and now that you realize that you are and that there was never anything wrong with you, I’m so honored to call you mine. You’re remarkable Felicity Smoak; you’ve always been and always will be. I want to keep you forever.”

Her heart thunders at his admiration of her, and she’s once again reminded how much she loves this man. He’d been the one to bring her from the deep end in high school, and he’d never once wavered in his support. She’s saddened that she’s caused him so much pain and hurt, even inadvertently from her own suffering through the months, but just like he’s always been there for her, she’d vowed to always be there for him.

“I want to keep you forever too.”

She contemplates the implications of their words and isn’t surprised that she means it down to her bones. He’s just 20 and she’s just 19 but she knows that if he asked her to marry him right now, she’d say yes. And if that makes her naïve or impulsive, she doesn’t care. She’s known for a long time that he was it for her.

She looks into his eyes and knows he’d been thinking about the same thing. But it doesn’t matter when or if he asks her the question because they have the rest of their lives to figure it out. They have a few more years of university, they’ll have to find jobs, get a house and all that jizz. And she can’t wait to do all of it with him.

Oliver brings his lips to hers in a scorching kiss, the heat from earlier returning in full force. He wraps both arms around her waist and begins to walk them back ways towards their bedroom. His tongue roams her mouth, tangling with her own. She moans into the kiss, which causes him to groan deep in his throat. She only vaguely registers objects falling as they knock over furniture in their haste to get to the bed. Once the back of Oliver’s leg hits the side of the bed, he falls back on it, easing her slowly down on him.

She bites his bottom lip again while running her arms down his chest. Her lips move down to his throat, licking and kissing as she progresses. She stops suddenly, realizing she hadn’t said something to him all day.

She looks him in the eyes, trying to convey all the love she’s felt for him in the past 3 plus years with her words, knowing it can only grow from here on out, “I love you Oliver.”

His eyes light up and the confusion from her abrupt withdrawal clears from his face. He reaches up to kiss her lightly once again before whispering the words she’ll never tire of hearing fall from his lips.

“I love you, Felicity.”

Their lips meet again, the kiss not as heated as the ones before. Oliver is the one to break away this time.

“Maybe we should go out to celebrate. This is pretty big and it shouldn’t go unnoticed.”

She grinds down on his body, making him growl at the contact. “I’d say we’re already celebrating.”

“Fe-li-ci-ty,” he grits out.

“Oliver,” she teases, bringing her lips back down to nip at his neck.

He growls out in frustration, “Screw this.” And then he’s kissing her again, returning her ministrations.

“Oh, that you will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is awesome, I'm thirsty for it.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on twitter @emilyszuko


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